I come down hard on myself at not being able to resolve my son's problems as a parent. I feel all alone, as we all know, Aspergers is very hard for some to comprehend. Help!

Discovering that your child has Asperger's Syndrome can be a frightening and overwhelming position.  As a parent, your dreams for the future have changed in the blink of an eye.  It's easy to blame yourself; you are the parent, after all.  You wonder what you did to cause this condition and you agonize because you cannot make it go away.  It doesn't help that Asperger's Syndrome seems invisible.  You may even find some friends and relatives questioning the validity of the diagnosis.  And this reflects directly on you as a parent.

First, you must remember that you are not alone. There are parents right there in your community who are living with this diagnosis.   A conservative estimate shows that 2 out of every 10,000 children have Asperger's Syndrome, and about one in every 100 have Autism.  These numbers are changing rapidly as diagnostic assessments improve.  Reaching out to these other parents can make a big difference in your situation.  Here are some ways to reach out.

*    Join an Autism support group for parents.  There should be one in your community or in a nearby community.  If not, perhaps it is time to start one.  Meeting with other parents in the same or similar circumstances will boost your morale and self confidence.

*    Think about utilizing respite care, especially if you are not comfortable leaving your child alone with a sitter.  Respite care workers are trained to deal with special issues; many are parents of special needs children themselves.  Again, if your community does not offer respite care, consider teaming with local families to create a respite care rotation.  Everyone needs a break from time to time.

*    Consider family counseling as a chance to talk about your feelings of inadequacy and loneliness.  Sometimes just talking about these issues with a caring professional can set you on the right track, recharged and motivated to help your son be the best he can be.

*    Personal interests or hobbies can help you regain yourself.  As a parent, you can easily lose who you are when you give up your interests to care for your family.  It is important to have that outlet to reduce stress.

The life of a parent of a child with Asperger's Syndrome is not always easy, but it can be extremely rewarding.  Find ways to renew yourself frequently so that you have the strength and focus it takes to parent your child with Asperger's Syndrome.

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