Behavior - Strategies for working with different and complex behaviors


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home | Behavior

Behavior - Strategies for working with different and complex behaviors

One of the most challenging aspects for parents of children with Aspergers is being able to understand and work positively with a whole variety of behaviors that their child may display. These behaviors can range from dangerous and challenging to more bizarre and seemingly quite strange.

In this department I will outline a number of real life behaviors that your child may well be displaying. Then I will look to explain what the causes are and how to work more effectively with those behaviors to give both you and your child better results.

My son is three and has just been diagnosed with aspergers, he's a textbook case apparently, and he is increasingly violent. Everywhere that I have read it says it's anxiety and that I should try to eliminate the stress. For him it is seeing his father, who he barely knows, at his father's place surrounded by people he doesn't know. His violence is getting worse and harder to manage. He was ok, still a little violent but never as bad a meltdown as we have now, when the visits were at our place and he knew I was around. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing in this case or what is best for my son. How do I help him cope with this? I can't find any information on this topic so I don't know what to do?
It seems that your son's anxiety stems from his visits to his father, who he barely knows. These visits are difficult for him and this is creating behaviors that are hard to manage. There may be a few ways to handle this situation ... . . . keep reading

I am having a rough time right now with my 12 son with AS. He started puberty in the 4th grade and since I am his only parent...he asks/tells me everything! So with all these hormones raging and the characteristics of AS, my son is a bit out of control. He has, what I guess you would call, anger management issues. Not like a "normal" teen would have. No matter what I say, as or do is right. He gets very defensive when asked something as trivial as did you brush your teeth! Can you give me any ideas. His medications were recently changed because of this and he hasn't been on it long enough to see if it is going to work. Do you have any information on Abilify? He is much taller than me; I can still handle him when necessary, but I am the only person that can get him out of a true AS Meltdown. Can you help?
Adolescence is a traumatic time for all teenagers, but for teens with Asperger's Syndrome it can be a very challenging period. It can be a very difficult period of time for their parents as well! Adolescence is a time where the social demands on teens can become overwhelming. Teens with Asperger's can struggle with social frustrations, depression and loneliness, and anxiety. Add hormonal issues on top of all this, and life with a teen becomes nearly impossible! . . . keep reading

I am having real problems with my 9yo aspie son who has developed a positive antipathy towards younger children. In particular he seems to believe that babies are conspiring to take over the world (and he's adamant that this is so), and that he is "bullied" by toddlers. He has just eye gouged a 3 year old who asked, in a very friendly way, what his name was. He is convinced he is constantly bullied at school although the teachers tell me this is not so and he is under constant surveillance throughout break periods (although he doesn't know this), so there is no substantiating this claim. It's appeared to me to be a paranoid delusion. What on earth can I do? Is this normal for Asperger's or something different that requires medical intervention?
Children with Asperger's Syndrome can have trouble understanding social situations. They often have trouble reading people's faces and body language and they can misinterpret social situations because of this. They often take what people say at face value and don't understand how to interpret a figure of speech. These difficulties of interpretation can sometimes make social interaction difficult for children. Children with Asperger's Syndrome are more often bullied at school than neuro-typical children. Children with Asperger's tend to be ... . . . keep reading

My 5 yr old boy has always had problems dealing with frustration and disappointment. Although we have recently received help from a variety of professionals for other aspects of his ASD this issue still looms large. To explain, he doesn't understand, doesn't want to know about having to give things up or let them go or to stop an activity that he is enjoying. Such as patting and cuddling the cat, pack up time at day care etc or stopping play time when it gets out of control. We have sort of managed so far, but as he gets bigger (and he's going to be a big strong boy) I am concerned as to how to control him and train him to control himself because using technique's that are useful now won't be long term. He is a very determined child that's coupled with a bad temper. HELP!
Many children with Asperger's express frustration in inappropriate ways. Many parents are concerned with how to teach their children how to react more appropriately to the situations they find themselves in ... . . . keep reading

My son is 14. Due to his physically violent outbursts towards me and his younger brother with Asperger's, he now attends residential school during the week. Weekends are so unpredictable with his behavior. He is very verbally abusive towards me, calling me all sorts of horrible names, and then the following weekend he will present me with chocolates and tell me I am the best mum in the world. I try to ignore all the bad behavior and praise the good. We try to make weekends well structured and centered on my eldest son, but he still seems to treat the house terribly. What can I do to change his way of thinking? He does tend to box things. School says he is the model student. He has been at this school for a month. The other two secondary schools he was excluded from due to his behavior. How can I change the behavior?
Having a child with Asperger's affects the whole family. As parents, you see the special strengths, as well as the individual weaknesses of your Asperger's child. You work to get this child the help he needs to be successful at home, at school, and in life. This child takes a lot of time and work on your part, but he's worth every minute of the time you spend now. Your hope is that, in the future, he'll ... . . . keep reading

My son will strip off at times and swear -- how can I stop these behaviors?
Because of an inability to control impulses, understand appropriate and inappropriate behavior, and empathize with others' feelings, as well as experiencing nearly constant frustration in dealing with daily life, children with Asperger's often behave inappropriately at home or in public. Stripping off is particularly inappropriate and is something about which you must be direct and forceful. Your son may ... . . . keep reading

I need help with melt downs and managing anxiety.
Young people with Aspergers suffer anxiety every day due to fears of new situations, strangers, and making mistakes. This builds a lot of anxiety for the young person. Often anxiety is expressed in anger, resistance to new situations/going places, and meltdowns, as you have seen. Dr. Judith Reaven, of the University of Colorado at Denver Health Sciences Centre, USA, confirms that children with autism spectrum disorders are at high risk for ... . . . keep reading

My son self-mutilates and carries out other destructive behaviors and I just don't know where to turn.
Children with autism, and sometimes those with Asperger's Syndrome, may engage in self-injury, also known as self-harm. These actions result in physical injury to the child's own body. Self-injury behavior includes ... . . . keep reading

The most difficult thing is controlling the behaviors without overmedicating him. I feel he would be better served with less medication, but his behaviors escalate without them. Where can I get help?
Many treatment approaches for Asperger's Syndrome are in the developmental stages and lots of work still needs to be done in this area. It is important to remember that Asperger's has many different symptoms and treatment needs to be individualized for each person. What works for one may not work for another. As a parent, you must be prepared to ... . . . keep reading

What is a positive way of working with my son's Pokemon obsession?
Pokémon is a game-based media company owned by Nintendo, created around 1995. Originally released as a pair of interlinkable Game Boy role-playing video games, Pokémon has expanded into anime, manga, trading cards, toys, books, CDs, and other media. The name Pokémon is ... . . . keep reading

My son is so stubborn that we often end up in a battle of wills. How can I stop this happening?
The "stubbornness" that you observe as part of your son's personality is a common characteristic of Asperger's Syndrome. When you try to modify or change the behavior of someone with Asperger's, you must consider what is called the "Theory of Mind" ... . . . keep reading

My son talks incessantly; I don't want to dent his confidence, but need some peace and quiet -- how can I deal with this sensitively?
Children with Asperger's often love to talk, especially about a personal interest. Sometimes, because they are obsessed by a personal interest, they cannot stop talking about it. As you say, you do not want to hurt his feelings or destroy his confidence, but it can get very exhausting to hear someone else talk constantly. There are steps you can take to help him use his verbal skills more appropriately ... . . . keep reading

My son continuously seeks attention, usually really bad attention, and fights with absolutely everyone -- what can I do?
It sounds as though your son is experiencing a sense of desperation and a need for help, but does not know how to express it, so he fights to get attention. Unfortunately, the attention he receives is not the kind he needs. Have you asked why he fights or what happens just before ... . . . keep reading

How do I learn to spot new trends in Aspergers behavior due to age without losing my cool?
As you know from your experience with your child, Asperger's Syndrome (AS) affects the way a person relates to and communicates with others. There may be difficulties in communication (although they speak fluently and have adequate vocabularies), social relationships, and flexibility of thinking. Children with AS have average or above average intelligence and the disorder is diagnosed on the basis of behavior for the most part, although there may be other medical issues to be addressed. It is the behavior of the child with AS that can be considered to be ... . . . keep reading

My son "freaks out" very easily. He has severe anxiety at times, which causes him to throw up. I cannot seem to help him calm down before this happens. What should I do?
Children who have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) are known to experience recurrent episodes of anxiety and stress. The environment and AS itself are "triggers" (catalysts) for the anxiety and stress that children with AS experience. The environmental stressors include ... . . . keep reading

How do I discipline my child with Aspergers? Should it be the same way as for my other kids?
As you have experienced, disciplining children with a developmental disorder can be extremely difficult; most parents of children with Asperger's Syndrome have problems with discipline. Obviously, the child has to learn to behave and, like all children ... . . . keep reading

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