Behavior - Strategies for working with different and complex behaviors


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home | Behavior

Behavior - Strategies for working with different and complex behaviors

One of the most challenging aspects for parents of children with Aspergers is being able to understand and work positively with a whole variety of behaviors that their child may display. These behaviors can range from dangerous and challenging to more bizarre and seemingly quite strange.

In this department I will outline a number of real life behaviors that your child may well be displaying. Then I will look to explain what the causes are and how to work more effectively with those behaviors to give both you and your child better results.

How can I cope better myself with this constant abuse and violence, aggression, rebelliousness, etc. from my child with Aspergers?

Parenting a child with Asperger's Syndrome is not an easy job. It's good to remember that parenting is never easy. Nevertheless, it is hard for a parent to admit that they are overwhelmed or even embarrassed by their child's behavior. Do not live in guilt. We are all human. The key is to find outlets that will allow you an opportunity to decompress... . . . keep reading

I am worried my son with Aspergers is becoming a recluse. What are the signs and what can I do about it?

Teens with Asperger's Syndrome often show signs of isolation or reclusion. Their lack of social communication and language abilities create anxiety within social situations. It is far easier to avoid these situations. As his parent, you must be involved and observant. In most cases, you may be able to read the signs in your teenager... . . . keep reading

My son is 14 and has Asperger's. His main means of survival is lying. I can't tell when he is telling the truth or not. Did he eat breakfast? Does he have lunch? Did he use soap in the shower? Did he do his homework? What do you recommend?

It is often said that kids with Asperger's cannot tell lies. The truth is, they can learn, as you well know. Asperger's Syndrome is a spectrum, and while children with Asperger's will have the same basic characteristics, they are unique individuals with their own strengths and weaknesses. Children with Asperger's Syndrome struggle with social communication, causing them to be very rigid thinkers. For instance, rules are rules, no exceptions. The thought of stating a falsehood does not come naturally. . . . keep reading

How can I stop my son with Aspergers from touching other people's faces?

People need personal space and will go to great lengths to protect their personal space, even to the point of anger. Unfortunately, children with Asperger's Syndrome do not understand the concept of personal space. This lack of understanding, accompanied by the child's weaknesses in the area of social skills and communication, make for a potential sticky situation. However, children with Asperger's can be taught about personal space and unwanted touching ... . . . keep reading

My 11-year-old girl with Aspergers has mood swings, what can I do about them?

A common complaint from parents of children with Asperger's is dealing with the mood swings and meltdowns that are a component of Asperger's Syndrome. Emotional interaction and social communication are difficult for these children. These difficulties cause frustration that has to be relieved in some manner. Hence, the reckless mood swings ... . . . keep reading

My son with Aspergers explodes for no reason and says mean things. Half the time I don't know why. What can I do?
This type of behavior can be a characteristic of a child with Asperger’s Syndrome. It is typical for the parent or any other onlooker, for that matter, to have no idea what has triggered t . . . keep reading

My son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome last year, just after his eleventh birthday. Our greatest challenge has been, and continues to be, his non-compliance. He is extremely bright -- his I.Q. and verbal skills are off the charts -- but he seems to hold a sense of distrust toward authority. And I do think it is distrust, rather than contempt. Could this be a result of his later diagnosis? Or does this come with the syndrome? And how can we help him understand concept of authority and how to express himself more appropriately than constantly arguing with teachers, parents, friends, etc.?
Many children with Asperger's Syndrome are highly intelligent and verbally skilled. Sometimes, these children seem to function as mini-adults. But he is not an adult, either emotionally or intelligently. He is a very smart, articulate child ... . . . keep reading

Our 14 year old son (diagnosed with Aspergers) paces while talking to himself. He's usually either repeating lines from a movie or TV show, or continuing a story line (he has a great imagination) from a TV show or movie. We're not even sure if he realizes that this seems odd to folks outside of our family. We've talked to him about doing it outside of our home, but worry that he may be doing it occasionally at school which has resulted in few or no friends. Do you have advice on curbing the behavior, or should we just accept it?
Many children with ASD or Asperger's Syndrome have difficulty understanding how others perceive them. They tend not to have the same sense that neuro-typical children can have about a behavior being "odd" or "strange". They are not good at tailoring their own behaviors to fit in with the expectations of others. Fourteen year olds are at the height of their adolescent "fitting in" stage. They are all desperately trying to figure out who they are and how they fit in with others at school and in their friendship circle. They are highly critical of those who are different and can be intolerant of those who come across in an unusual way ... . . . keep reading

My son is three and has just been diagnosed with aspergers, he's a textbook case apparently, and he is increasingly violent. Everywhere that I have read it says it's anxiety and that I should try to eliminate the stress. For him it is seeing his father, who he barely knows, at his father's place surrounded by people he doesn't know. His violence is getting worse and harder to manage. He was ok, still a little violent but never as bad a meltdown as we have now, when the visits were at our place and he knew I was around. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing in this case or what is best for my son. How do I help him cope with this? I can't find any information on this topic so I don't know what to do?
It seems that your son's anxiety stems from his visits to his father, who he barely knows. These visits are difficult for him and this is creating behaviors that are hard to manage. There may be a few ways to handle this situation ... . . . keep reading

I am having a rough time right now with my 12 son with AS. He started puberty in the 4th grade and since I am his only parent...he asks/tells me everything! So with all these hormones raging and the characteristics of AS, my son is a bit out of control. He has, what I guess you would call, anger management issues. Not like a "normal" teen would have. No matter what I say, as or do is right. He gets very defensive when asked something as trivial as did you brush your teeth! Can you give me any ideas. His medications were recently changed because of this and he hasn't been on it long enough to see if it is going to work. Do you have any information on Abilify? He is much taller than me; I can still handle him when necessary, but I am the only person that can get him out of a true AS Meltdown. Can you help?
Adolescence is a traumatic time for all teenagers, but for teens with Asperger's Syndrome it can be a very challenging period. It can be a very difficult period of time for their parents as well! Adolescence is a time where the social demands on teens can become overwhelming. Teens with Asperger's can struggle with social frustrations, depression and loneliness, and anxiety. Add hormonal issues on top of all this, and life with a teen becomes nearly impossible! . . . keep reading

I am having real problems with my 9yo aspie son who has developed a positive antipathy towards younger children. In particular he seems to believe that babies are conspiring to take over the world (and he's adamant that this is so), and that he is "bullied" by toddlers. He has just eye gouged a 3 year old who asked, in a very friendly way, what his name was. He is convinced he is constantly bullied at school although the teachers tell me this is not so and he is under constant surveillance throughout break periods (although he doesn't know this), so there is no substantiating this claim. It's appeared to me to be a paranoid delusion. What on earth can I do? Is this normal for Asperger's or something different that requires medical intervention?
Children with Asperger's Syndrome can have trouble understanding social situations. They often have trouble reading people's faces and body language and they can misinterpret social situations because of this. They often take what people say at face value and don't understand how to interpret a figure of speech. These difficulties of interpretation can sometimes make social interaction difficult for children. Children with Asperger's Syndrome are more often bullied at school than neuro-typical children. Children with Asperger's tend to be ... . . . keep reading

My 5 yr old boy has always had problems dealing with frustration and disappointment. Although we have recently received help from a variety of professionals for other aspects of his ASD this issue still looms large. To explain, he doesn't understand, doesn't want to know about having to give things up or let them go or to stop an activity that he is enjoying. Such as patting and cuddling the cat, pack up time at day care etc or stopping play time when it gets out of control. We have sort of managed so far, but as he gets bigger (and he's going to be a big strong boy) I am concerned as to how to control him and train him to control himself because using technique's that are useful now won't be long term. He is a very determined child that's coupled with a bad temper. HELP!
Many children with Asperger's express frustration in inappropriate ways. Many parents are concerned with how to teach their children how to react more appropriately to the situations they find themselves in ... . . . keep reading

My son is 14. Due to his physically violent outbursts towards me and his younger brother with Asperger's, he now attends residential school during the week. Weekends are so unpredictable with his behavior. He is very verbally abusive towards me, calling me all sorts of horrible names, and then the following weekend he will present me with chocolates and tell me I am the best mum in the world. I try to ignore all the bad behavior and praise the good. We try to make weekends well structured and centered on my eldest son, but he still seems to treat the house terribly. What can I do to change his way of thinking? He does tend to box things. School says he is the model student. He has been at this school for a month. The other two secondary schools he was excluded from due to his behavior. How can I change the behavior?
Having a child with Asperger's affects the whole family. As parents, you see the special strengths, as well as the individual weaknesses of your Asperger's child. You work to get this child the help he needs to be successful at home, at school, and in life. This child takes a lot of time and work on your part, but he's worth every minute of the time you spend now. Your hope is that, in the future, he'll ... . . . keep reading

My son will strip off at times and swear -- how can I stop these behaviors?
Because of an inability to control impulses, understand appropriate and inappropriate behavior, and empathize with others' feelings, as well as experiencing nearly constant frustration in dealing with daily life, children with Asperger's often behave inappropriately at home or in public. Stripping off is particularly inappropriate and is something about which you must be direct and forceful. Your son may ... . . . keep reading

I need help with melt downs and managing anxiety.
Young people with Aspergers suffer anxiety every day due to fears of new situations, strangers, and making mistakes. This builds a lot of anxiety for the young person. Often anxiety is expressed in anger, resistance to new situations/going places, and meltdowns, as you have seen. Dr. Judith Reaven, of the University of Colorado at Denver Health Sciences Centre, USA, confirms that children with autism spectrum disorders are at high risk for ... . . . keep reading

My son self-mutilates and carries out other destructive behaviors and I just don't know where to turn.
Children with autism, and sometimes those with Asperger's Syndrome, may engage in self-injury, also known as self-harm. These actions result in physical injury to the child's own body. Self-injury behavior includes ... . . . keep reading

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